Today I thought I saw one of my derby sisters on the train. While I tried to work out if it was her, the woman turned and gave me a shocked look. I’m now convinced she was psychic and thought I was insulting her.
When I am King of the World, all derby people will be required to wear their helmets at all times, even outside of practice. It’s the only way I can recognize anyone.
At a private three-day retreat in California last weekend, conservative billionaires Charles and David Koch and about 250 to 300 other individuals pledged approximately $100 million to defeat President Obama in the 2012 elections.
I wonder what would happen if these pigfuckers would spend $100 Million to actually improve the lives of the 99%, instead of trying to make themselves even richer.
Helping other people would literally violate every value these Ayn Rand worshipping motherfuckers have.
“If you win the NCAA championship, you come to the White House. Well, if you’re a young person and you produce the best experiment or design, the best hardware or software, you ought to be recognized for that achievement, too.” - President Barack Obama”—
“Fourteen year old Joey Hudy from Phoenix, Arizona is already a Maker Faire veteran,” reads the White House press release.
“He invented an Extreme Marshmallow Cannon and an LED Cube Microcontroller Shield, which he has exhibited at Maker Faires in New York, San Francisco, and Detroit. He received 2 Editors Choice Awards from Maker Faire, and has started a small business selling the microcontroller (Arduino) shield kits on several websites. As the World’s Largest Do-It-Yourself Festival, Maker Faire is the premier event for grassroots American innovation.”
Confetti? I’ll take you one better. My final plans involve what all skydivers end up on: an ash dive.
A skydiver dies from whatever causes and then gets cremated. His Rigger (the guy with the sewing machine the kept all his gear in good shape and repaired his parachute when he needed it) makes up an ash bag- a velcro shut container that holds the ashes around someone’s arm.
All your friends get on an airplane, jump out, and meet up in free fall. Then someone opens the ashbag and you have your last skydive.
People can see it from the ground for miles.
And inevitably, someone ends up over the top of the ashes on accident and lands covered in Frank.